To be continued......

The Mumbai attack and the ensuing madness is being avidly followed by the masses. In India, revolution occurs only after a trigger event. We do not believe in a gradual progression. It has to be sudden or nothing at all. The quintessential "We are like that only" and 'Chalta hai chalne do' syndrome.

I have followed the attacks and the other associated events but with a little less interest, coz "I am like that only". On a serious note, I have always believed in hearing both sides of the story to be able to form an unbiased opinion. I am not God and hence I suffer from the same frailties as the rest of us - namely fear, anger, ego and bias. But I try to think with my mind and not my heart. My heart bleeds for the death of innocents. My heart is angry and mad at the callousness displayed by the politicians and media the world over. My blood boils at being let down due to a systemic failure of the country I love so much.

Yes the media played a great role in galvanizing prompt action. However, somewhere down the line it has started acting as the jury and the judge. I do not want to listen only to them. I want to think too.

Mumbai - The economic capital of India was under siege by terrorists for over 72 hours. It was a war we witnessed. A war that was fought at different levels - Personal, political, military as well as psychological. To each of us it meant something personal. It either forced us to wake up and realize our own failures and weaknesses or strengthened our convictions for or against certain notions.

The majority of the population was divided into 2 groups -
1. Who condemned the attacks and started planning/debating on what to do next (Godspeed to u) &
2. The war mongers who just happily went ahead bashing certain societies, countries and communities (with enough facts as far as they were concerned) - the callous (I will refer to them as such going forward).

Of the minority again there were 2 groups -
1. Who did/said nothing and enjoyed themselves by just watching the 'tamasha' that was being played out by the callous (may God bless them) &
2. The cowards (like me) who sat back and tried to perceive the whole picture by analyzing and linking long forgotten facts (may God be with us).

The callous bitched, cribbed, read and forwarded stupid emails and videos and created a tense atmosphere of restless energy and negativity everywhere with no scope of release. They ended up frustrated and confused more than anything else. Their confusion reached a level where they started doubting even those who were the only constructive force in all of this - The NSG, Mumbai Police and the Firemen! This was exactly the reason I chose to be a coward. At least I am sure who my heroes are. I will not stand in judgment of these brave/selfless men.

Coming to the cowards. We determined to not cast aspersions or blame (no matter how tempted we were) on any specific societies, countries and communities without sufficient proof. Yes we blamed the terrorists, their entire organizations and heads. But somewhere deep down there is a hesitation to blame it all on one side. I personally have a reservation seeing the quick action force that was brought in by the FBI. I am not doubting their actions. I am skeptical of their presence. Can America really survive and sustain its economy and military superiority without waging a war? Will the multi-billion dollar arms industry go down quietly, now that they are short of a weapons testing ground? Some questions are scary if u contemplate their answers. The callous do not understand this. They choose to remain blind to certain 'in your face' facts. But it is their choice.

The terrorists to me are God's orphans. Disowned by their own Gods, they belong nowhere and to no one. Justice has already been served in part to them in life. The rest they shall endure in hell.

New age Indian hypocrisy

Deepavali or its most common variant Diwali has always been known as a festival of color and light. While its exact significance/origin in history is dubious (quite a common incidence in several Hindu mythologies), no one (who is a Hindu) questions its purpose.

Just recently I happened to witness a debate on "Diwali and its effects on the atmosphere". The people debating it are supposedly intelligent, educated & original thinkers!!! I just felt puckish.

Deepavali in India has been celebrated since times immemorial. It marks the approach of winter and the new harvest season. I love Diwali. I love all the rituals and festivities associated with it. I love the fun, gaiety, tasty eats as well as the noise and pollution of Deepavali. Anyone who does not share my feelings....

Quick fact - A once in a year occurrence does not contribute much to global warming :P (for those of u who didn't know).

Global warming is a recent observation and occurrence. It did not start because of Diwali, nor will it end with it.

I am not entirely sure of details nor do I really care for the emissions from "firecrackers". I love the smell of gunpowder too for that matter. All you loud mouths screaming to stop pollution, first quit using all modern day appliances. Get all government and militant groups to stop waging wars. When all other countries stop having fireworks on certain important days, I might perhaps be persuaded to think about giving up crackers on Diwali.

I am not a hypocrite. I cannot live without several modern comforts, many of which contribute to global warming. Their respective natural substitutes are simply not viable options anymore. I therefore try to minimize/optimize such necessary evils. For example - using CARPOOLS. Those who ask for company leased cars and then go on to preach a GREEN DEEPAVALI..... please take a flying jump for all I care.

My only worry during Diwali is for the numerous birds I have at home. However, I have never heard them complain nor die of fear or fall sick even. So, if it is the noise that bothers you....I suggest you get some treatment for your sad life.

Some smart----- argue about the use of child labor in the fireworks industry. Well u guys...have you found a solution yet? Sure I would love to see those children happy, well-fed and studying in schools. Show me a working model of that ideal world and I will participate myself to carry it forward. In India, with all the great leaders and people's representatives, an ideal life for such (already deprived) children is just not a possibility....Please do not bother to argue just for the sake of it.

True, child laborers are denied their just dues. However, they do get something (nobody is a fool to work repeatedly without getting paid). A parent, unable to earn even that meager amount and provide his child with at least two square meals a day, does not have his child's education as his top priority. Free secondary education, mid-day meals etc are just hogwash. So quit arguing and accept that these children are not going to school after losing their jobs. Quit putting them on a fast track to death - either due to starvation or unhygienic midday meals.

Don't argue for a green Diwali then go ahead and celebrate marriages or cricket victories with fireworks. Quit being myopic hypocrites and pseudo intellectuals.

Think the thought through

A friend of mine had a very interesting message displayed on her messenger client. Made a lot of sense to me . I took her permission to pen it in my blog as well. Hope it helps some of you out there too.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind!!"

For friends only

My last blog seems to have made quite a splash in office. While most have had good things to say, some had reservations and some quite frankly did not understand what I said.

While I am not in the habit of explaining myself, those who misinterpreted me are actually my friends. I am always willing to make exceptions for friends. So here goes...

1. Every human being ultimately is a product of his/her own experiences in life. Thoughts, perceptions, needs, desires and motivation are also a product of the same.

2. Most theories of management were postulated by men without management degrees. It was a science of observation and learning that helped them to learn, grow and excel at managing people. Most of them worked in a bottom-up manner and for prolonged periods in the same company.

Companies must encourage growth from within its talent pool. If you think a degree from a management school makes a huge difference, send deserving candidates to such institutes and get them back to run the show. Adjust remuneration packages of such candidates so that they aren't inclined to jump ship (remember you need to pay similar/higher remuneration had you hired a fresh graduate from the same institute).

Will this tactic act as a motivator?
Will it create a loyalty among employees towards the company?
Try it and you won't need my affirmation.

3. Not all people are born managers. Born managers do not need to be trained in man management. They are usually people who have a deeper understanding and respect of human pschycology. They are normal human beings who really care and believe in the goodness of others. They are usually people who naturally try to look for the best in others. They are highly conscious and tolerant of human failings.

4. While training can help those who are not born managers, it can only do little good.

5. Academic intelligence alone is not a benchmark nor a hallmark of a good manager.

6. I agree that a cashier cannot be a chef. Which is why he does not command a chef nor guide him in his work. Only an exceptional chef can lead a team of good chefs. Any skill based/specialized work needs to be supervised only by an expert who is equally good (if not better) than his team.

Why? Because you only understand the challenges involved when you face them yourself.

7. Management institutes in the country are just facilitation/training institutes.

Case studies are examples of past events/challenges that others faced. They are a learning exercise that can be obtained for free on GOOGLE SEARCH.

Do you live the challenge in a case study? No.
Do you get to see the actual people who were involved? No.
Do you know the challenges the people involved faced? To an extent.
How can you make a decision based on generalized assumptions?
Who is to judge whether your decision would be right?
What guarantee do u have of the actual reactions of the people involved?
What do you know of the caliber/needs of the real people involved?

Of a classroom session of survival tactics in war and a game of paint ball, which do you think offers better understanding of the challenges?

8. My personal experiences have definitely played an integral role in shaping my thoughts. I have worked with seven different managers so far in various organizations.

Apart from working in some major MNC's, I did some short projects when I had some time on my hands.

I worked for free for a month as a consultant(a honorary title), in a small flat that was barely converted into a recruitment office. The previous people had left due to lowly wages. The so-called proprietor/owner never showed up. The guy who set up the office computer network was a relative of the owner who kept his own timings. The office manager, either stayed shut in his room or went for long smoking breaks. I was required to hire a new team for the office as well as interview suitable candidates for certain MNC clients. For a job that needed at least a college degree, had a six day work week and paid only 5000 rupees and no other perks, what motivation can u provide?

Have I played people management roles? Yes.
Do I understand the challenges of a people manager? Yes.
Do I have/had a problem with any of my managers? No.
Do I hate managers? I dislike anyone who does not respect, appreciate and deserve their positions in life. Be it a politician, clerk, housewife, businessman or manager.

Why do I believe some people are undeserving of what they have? Because I believe in FATE.

9. I speak the truth without reservations and mincing words. The previous post was about "Things a manager should not do to in order to be a good manager" (not effective or efficient).

I have always had a very good rapport with all my managers till date. All of them had varied backgrounds and qualifications. Never have I played office politics nor plotted against a manager. If I had a concern/reservation/suggestion, I went right up and spoke my mind. I still do. I never play a part or try to be someone I am not.

The previous post was a collation of facts from my experiences so far.

10. As for what yardstick should be used to measure performance at work - my answer, as earlier is QUALITY.

I challenge any company in the world to disclose their figures during periods of increased productivity per person/machine versus customer push back/grievances. It will always be a directly proportional value.

When your mother or wife cooks five different dishes for you, what matters most is the taste. Tasteless food will not satisfy your appetite/hunger, even if you are served a large spread.

A tree/plant cannot be forced to produce more than its natural capacity of tasty fruit/vegetable/cereal. Creating hybrids for higher productivity alters the very nature of the product. The focus should be on facilitating a healthy crop year after year by combining advanced scientific methods and natural processes.

I am not against productivity. If my hen lays two golden eggs instead of one, I am definitely not going to complain. But if the same hen starts giving me two normal eggs instead of a golden one, well, then I have a BIG problem.

11. It is not easy to fine balance productivity and quality. Again, between a highly productive and a person with high quality, there is no guarantee of who would eventually make a better manager. Companies should make their reward structures flexible. They should be designed to serve individual needs.

12. When a manager and his subordinate sit together and discuss the subordinates performance, it is not a 360 degree appraisal. It is a 180 degree appraisal.

A 360 degree feedback is only complete when a manager is evaluated based not only on his team's performance but also on the feedback from his team.

Team feedback should be collected by the boss of a respective manager preferably by anonymous questionnaires/feedback forms. Anonymous feedback guarantees candid and truthful answers as subordinates do not have to fear retribution.
Questionnaires should consist of open-ended questions. Specific instances could be asked for as well. Answers should be carefully reviewed and evaluated for merit/context.

It is not humanly possible for a person/manager to satisfy everyone in his team. Anonymous feedback could also result in unfair accusations. Therefore, an average should be calculated from the feedback received. If a majority of the team is happy, very good. If not, the situation warrants immediate attention.

Subordinate and manager feedback should have the same periodicity. The idea behind such a feedback mechanism is to ensure that there aren't any violent disconnects/unrest at any level. The idea is to create and encourage an environment of free, honest and spontaneous, speech and expression.

MBA - Making Bigger/Bolder Asses

Approaching the end of my MBA semesters, I have only one thing to say, "WHAT A WASTE OF TIME, EFFORT & MONEY." The only thing that comes across from all the books that I have read so far is that - they are useless, have no practical value & are full of theories and assumptions.

The so called 'GURUS' of subjects prefer using phrases like "being creative", "thinking out of the box", "putting one or the other in someone else's shoes" and many more of such meaningless collection of words.

If one is a 'GURU' or even a suitably knowledgeable person in some area, they should be able to give 'bang on' answers to problems and not hypothesize or advice!!!

All management books talk about qualities that a manager should have and never about what he should do to achieve them.

All management books talk of motivating employees to work more without specifying the LIMIT of more. It is fine for a manager to be human but not an employee. An employee's only purpose is to imitate a machine, work like a machine and gradually become brain-dead like a machine. Human resource development and training is just a lot of hogwash.

Managers are supposed to address employee concerns with 'careful consideration and sympathy' as if they were some contagious disease!!!

Here are some hard facts that should be taught at any management institute that is worth its salt (read MONEY).

Fact 1 - The easiest way for a manager to alienate himself from his team/subordinates/employees is to create a niche group of trusted members from among the team.

The biggest necessity for a person to be a good manager is to be able to judge people and take independent decisions without the help and support of aides.

Fact 2 - A manager cannot & should never be vindictive (no matter what the stimulus).

It is natural for any human being to have a bias. It is natural for any human to have mood swings.
If a manager allows such natural tendendies to impair his judgement of people and situations, there is only one solution "QUIT WHILE YOU ARE STILL AHEAD"

Fact 3 - DO NOT use/throw management terminology/jargon at your team members.

For all you know, your team members might know much more than you or in most cases care a fig for it.

Fact 4 - Understand the terms really well 'HYPOCRISY', 'DIPLOMACY' & 'KNIFE IN THE BACK ATTITUDE'.

Use any of these with your team members and you will not know what hit you.

Fact 5 - DO NOT DARE to think of your office as a playground/ sea/ field to test your pervertedness

If you are a pervert, well and good. Use your money (u r paid well enough) to indulge your tastes or get married to someone of your choice or get a LIFE!!!

Fact 6 - NEVER offer preferential treatment to a close few.

Every human being is different and so are their needs. Use differential treatment such that it is best liked by the individual.

Give some a benefit and deny others the same, and you are in for a lot of grief!!!

Fact 7 - Every job is different. Understand the need of the job and not pre-suppose it.

'Best Performance is NOT a factor of Productivity.'

Any 'GURU' who disagrees can take a flying jump from the highest point in the universe!

Fact 8 - It is the employees who add to the bottom line of a company not a manager.

A manager only gets to enjoy the benefits (read salary, bonus & perks) of employee's hard work. If you do not respect them, DO NOT expect any respect in return.

FACT 9 - Before you set targets or up them, Work at least 2 weeks in the same position as the employee, hit those targets and achieve all the benchmarks first.

If you can't - BACK OFF.

Case in point - Maid/House help. The lady (manager) of the house cannot afford to do all duties of a maid and yet look like the lady of the house. Her only option therefore, is to hire, train and supervise a maid. If the lady turns snappy, nagging, abusive or unfair and tries to micro-manage, the maid will leave in no time.

There is never any dearth of oppurtunities for an employee. But a manager always has limited choice.

Fact 10 - Emphasize on the quality of work.

Productivity is important but not at the cost of quality. Productivity is a quick fix solution for short term profits.
Any manager who weighs productivity over quality should be shown the door.

Imagine companies like Johnson & Johnson or Dabur focusing on quantity more than quality. Will u continue using their products on your child or for your well being?

Every time a company comes out with a new product, it is usually a success if it is of good quality. Reducing the quality (reducing, increasing or keeping constant any other variable like quantity, price etc.) will invariably have an adverse effect on the market share.

Ex: Hindustan lever FMCG products.

Whether in manufacturing or banking or research & development or IT/ITES, quality is the only thing that DIFFERENTIATES a business.
Quality of your product creates your BRAND.
Quality alone will fetch consumer LOYALTY.

Apart from medicines, there is no life threatening commodity in the world for which a consumer would not wait some extra time, to receive a guaranteed quality product.

Set higher time frames for product delivery, so people order in advance. If you can deliver well in advance, good. If not, DO NOT push employees/machines to over-achieve.

Fact 11 - If you cannot stand up for your team and take a stance in front of your superiors - GO TAKE A HIKE.

You do not deserve to be a manager if you do not believe and protect your team from unneccessary pressure.

You do not deserve to be a manager if you cower down to lighter skin color.


Fact 12 - If you DO NOT HAVE GUTS - GET LOST.

DO NOT make your trusted minions do your dirty job for you.


Fact 13 - Be who you are. DO NOT PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE YOU ARE NOT.

Year after year several unworthy candidates are selected into prestigious institutes and end up bagging the best paying jobs. Being unworthy is not a sin. Not accepting it is a sin. Accept your flaws. It only makes you more human. Share in the combined intelligence of your team. Let majority decisions prevail. Help the team to help you GROW.


Fact 14 - Always be honest when dealing with team mates/subordinates (irrespective of their level of education)

Call a spade a spade. Mincing words or running around the bush won't get you very far. While giving other's their dues, DO NOT seem as if you are doing them a favor. Remember it is always vice-versa.

Educated subordinates are as well informed if not more. Always speak the truth. DO NOT believe in "if you cannot explain, confuse" theory.

If you do not know something you only have two options 1. Admit it, 2. Keep your mouth shut.

Fact 15 - Neither the boss, employee nor the consumer are always right.

Every decision is a risk you take. The only way to make sure you incur the least damage is to make sure, that the decision comes from your HEART.

Clear your mind and heart of prejudice, anger, bias and fear before taking a decision. Only then can you make the right choice.

Fact 16 - FAILING AS A MANAGER IS BETTER THAN FAILING AS A HUMAN BEING.

It is natural to fear failure. It natural to fear loss. Your worst fear should be to turn into an animal from a human.


There will always be someone who knows more about a subject than you do. Accept & appreciate the fact. That someone can also be your subordinate.

Always remember that.

QA time for Idiots

Question: What is the unbeatable price of an item?





Answer: Free (= zero)


(Lets try and put it in an equation form)

Item * unbeatable price = free = 0


=> Nothing comes for free. ;P

Brainwave ;)

Question: Why is a conventional mouse pointer tilted to the left?

Answer: Coz most users worldwide are right handed. :P

Relatively speaking

Bernard Shaw said in one of his essays, "Good or bad is relative."

What seems good to one generation need not be so for the next. This is what is change and civilizations thrive because of it. However, when a collective group thinks of something as good, then perhaps it has very little scope of being bad (collective wisdom and all that new world jazz).

I personally feel that we should legalize all activities to have lesser crimes. The mind always wants to do what it is asked not to. Let there be law but no legalization. The concept sounds funny especially in the context of what we call henious crimes but hey, whats wrong with testing?

I guess I need some sleep now (upstairs are half baked delusions of an insomniac).

Indicolors

I am amazed at the sheer multitude & abundance of colors (I mean colour) India has been blessed with. Everywhere you look you see varying shades of life. ABCD'S, half baked non residents of no man's lands, and pseudo critical eyes may look down upon the seeming disarray and apparent dishevelment. The bleached variety of our species are dumbfounded when they see a cow or a bull nonchalantly crossing a street or clogging up traffic thoroughfare. They start clicking photos of the same as if these innocent animals were aliens. I am sure the animals in western countries have stopped roaming on the streets for fear of being caught and gobbled up (just kidding!).

Have you ever noticed the absolute innocence in the eyes of a buffalo or the unsteady gait of a calf trying to keep up with its mother? Have you noticed the sheer bravado of a stray pup shouting at a bull (perhaps in an attempt to show off to his girlfriend) and the total disregard on the bull's face? Have you noticed the kinship of stray dog with a child of the streets? Have you noticed how an aging stray dog stands guard over an infant playing on the streets? It is foolish to try and capture such beauty in print. It should leave a mark on one's conscience. You do not need time to observe such things. They are a way of life in India where life means a colorful blend of joys and sorrows.

I do not question why we celebrate so many festivals every year. I love to celebrate all of them. They might be pointless and at times costly but atleast they give us something new to wake up to every morning. Atleast I do not spend my hard earned money in the pubs and nightclubs and contribute to make some low lives richer everyday. I do not pretend to understand the fascination the west holds for the youth today. All I know is that, I wouldn't trade my motherland for any other place on earth.

Misplaced intellect

Why do we call the western world developed? Most of the population there have anti-depressants as their staple diet. They pop a pill if they lose a partner, when they watch tv, when they see their offspring, if they gain a little weight and sometimes they pop a pill just for the heck of it. These people are the loneliest of the lot. They have no roots and when they are done trying to get over the fact, they start trying to find them. They live dual lives. On the surface and to the outside world they hide behind a confident & superior than thou facade. On the inside they are plagued by loneliness, rejection, fear of rejection and insecurity. Their lives according to me is the perfect example of materialistic existence. Unfortunately, we too are headed there.

What does development mean to us? We have stopped noticing the little things in life. All our living breathing moments revolve around silicon variants, Wasn't it meant to be the other way round? We find it easier to question our values and morals without for once thinking as to what we are without them. Are we bigger and better individuals today than our ancestors?

If we are indeed living a more developed life than our forefathers, shouldn't we in turn possess more good qualities than them? Shouldn't we be more hardworking, wiser (without google search), sacrificing, honest and blah, blah, blah?

Why are we so fascinated by everything that carries the western tag? Don't all religious texts proclaim that life started in the east? Why are we all trying so hard to end it in the west? The sun still rises first in the east. I am not saying that we have nothing to learn from the west. They are a hardworking lot. But their hard work is motivated by just one ELEMENT - MONEY.

We are STILL perhaps lazier in comparison to our western counterparts but with good reason. We can laugh out loud, we have families where we shout at & disagree with each other yet gather together at the dinner table without hurting our egos. We can scold our children without fear of imprisonment. We do not need psychologists and psycho analysts to set our kids right. Yes, we have our hangups. Yes, we are not open with our affections in public (I do not have such hangups but do not see any point in questioning them either). We are sufficiently independent (in the cities) to make our own choices (if we want to) without the burden of a moral baggage.

Flat for sale - Hyderabad

2 BHK flat for sale in Kompally - Hyderabad. Details are as follows -

1. Area 965 sq ft.
2. 3rd floor east facing with parking.
3. Complete woodwork and polished marble flooring.
4. Half kilometer from Cine Planet multiplex.
5. Half Kilometer from Runway 9 (the carting hangout).
6. Walkable distance to bus/auto stand and NH7.
7. Half Kilometer from Jayabheri park/lake.
8. Vaastu compliant.
9. vensai shopping mall within walkable distance.
10. Serene locality (I can guarantee that as I own the house next door).
11. 35-40 minute drive to Hitec city.
12. The building has 5 floors with lift facility.
13. 24hrs water (borewell), drinking water delivered by tanker (I am not sure of the frequency as I use my house as a weekend getaway).

Price - 30 lakhs (negotiable)
Contact number - 9949505106.

Let me know if there are any more questions except for the price.

Define Brahman

In one of my usual browsing sessions today, I came across a wiki article that raised a very elemental question.

What is the authenticity of the rituals that we follow today in the name of religion (Hinduism in particular)? More precisely, who is a Brahman?

There are copies of the Bible and Quran in certain museums but a complete collection of the Vedas/Shrutis is unheard of. Online archives of the same are of dubious authencity. Perhaps it is largely owing to the early origins of the same. However, the question remains as to the validity of our rituals and ceremonies.

Is a Brahman caste a result of heredity? Or was it meant as a class/distinction granted to meritorious students in the gurukuls? It is a known fact that not all Brahman children are brilliant and vice versa. Therefore, how is it fair to deny the right of our scriptures to our meritorious counterparts simply because they are not conferred the Brahman caste?

The learning of the Vedas was a closely guarded secret for ages. The same has been passed from one generation to the other mostly by word of mouth. Granted that such individuals were learned men of the highest order. Questioning their integrity is definitely a no brainer but what about the interpretation of the shrutis from one generation to the other?

It is an accepted fact that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. If Brahman is a product of heredity, why then were Brahman women denied the right to scriptures by the so called brahmins? We know for a fact that women like Gargi, Maitreyee, Khana and others were conferred the Brahman title and elaborate thread ceremonies were performed for them by the rishis. So where did it all change and why? If Brahman is a result of an unbroken line of male descendants and progeny which undoubtedly is a factor of two (of which one is deliberately kept ignorant), what is the guarantee that the resulting gene will be of the highest order?

Coming from a "unbroken" Brahman family where women are treated equal if not superior to men, I have had the privilege to question our roots. I find it depressing when people are rejected as proper alliances in our family simply bcoz of their caste. I am a devotee of Krishna and find myself increasingly being drawn to the teachings of Sanatana Dharma. Is there a clear answer to all my questions which will resurrect my complete faith in the caste system?

transliteration ;-)

The European Commission has just announced that English will be the
official language of the European Union. German, which was the other
possibility, narrowly missed out.

During negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and accepted a 5-year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will
make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor
of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less
letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go away.

By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer
vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und after zis fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German; lik zey vunted in
ze forst plas.

English is easy

I am lucky to have a father who is a convent educated walking-talking dictionary of the English language. He created the basic platform for me to learn accent free English. I was lucky again in my schooling where my teachers spoke excellent English. I have often been complimented on my English by people of different races. Not all of us are that lucky I know, yet....

How difficult can it be to speak fluent English? Why do most Indians have a mother tongue influence only while speaking English but can converse like a pro in other regional languages? What can be so difficult about speaking accent free, grammatically correct sentences in ENGLISH???

I have nothing against those who choose not to learn English. In fact I am proud of them and think of them as true Indians. At least they have an identity. I love all Indians who travel to foreign lands knowing just their mother tongue and force foreigners to decipher their signals. But what about those who choose to learn half baked stuff and cannot even carry it off?

Why then do we get angry when a white skin mocks our accent yet choose to keep quite when he speaks ridiculous Hindi (and do not give me the cultural values crap). Why do we at all respond to foreigners who do not even bother to bring a language dictionary along on their trips to India? Meet the same foreigner in Spain or Italy or Russia or for that matter in Afghanistan and he will have invested in a local language dictionary.

Meet a Russian or an Israeli and u know he/she understands perfect English, but will not speak the same out of sheer pride for their own language.

Are Indians greedy? Do we really still nurture a slave mentality? Questions like these result in heated arguments in the so called "intellectual" communities. When will we face up to reality? How long will it take for Indians to discover their true individualities?

The woes of a Bengali Boy

Hilarious! A must read.

"In this post I will attempt to alert people to a great injustice that is being perpetrated upon the sons of Bengal. So you thought they were wimpy to begin with. Far from it, my friend. Their current state is a result of years of conditioning by the oppressors - namely the women. By using a variety of psychological weapons, they have reduced these fine men to what you see today.

Today we focus on the first weapon in their hands - the nickname.

When a son is born into a Bengali household, he is gifted with a resonant, sonorous name. Bengali names are wonderful things. They convey majesty and power. A man with a name like Prasenjit, Arunabha or Sukanta is a man who will walk with his head held high, knowing that the world expects great deeds from him, which was why they bestowed the title that is his name upon him.

But it simply will not do for these men to get ahead of themselves. Their swelling confidence needs to be shattered. How can one go about it? This task is left to the mothers of these lads and is accomplished by the simple act of referring to the boy, not by his fine-sounding real name, but by a nickname which Shakti Kapoor would be ashamed to answer to. Their are some rules for creating nicknames, which need to be followed. They are -

1) Nicknames must have no connection to the real name. Arunabha cannot be called Arun. No, for that would be logical, and such things are anathema in the world of women. Instead he shall be called Bhombol. If possible, the nickname and real name must have no letters in common, but an ancient alphabet proves to be the constraining factor there.

2) Nicknames must be humiliating. If you are a tall strapping boy, with a flair for soccer, an easy charm and an endearing personality, then you shall be nicknamed - Bhondu. And every time, you have set your sights on a girl, and are on the verge of having the aforementioned lass eat out of your hand - your mother will arrive and pronounce loudly - "Bhondu, chalo". The ensuing sea of giggles will drown out whatever confidence you had earned from that last winning free-kick.

3) A nickname must refer in some way to a suitably embaressing incident in your childhood that you would give your arm and leg to forget. If it took you a little too long to shed your baby fat, then years of gymming will not rid you of the nomenclature - Motka. If your face turned crimson when you cried as a toddler, you will be called Laltu. When you turn 40, your friends' children will call you Laltu Uncle. Even age will not earn you the right to be taken seriously thereafter.

4) Different members of the family will make up different nicknames - each more embaressing than the preceding one. If one member of the family calls you Piklu, then another will call you Mitul, and another will call you Jumbo. The humiliation multiplies.

5) You will always be introduced by your nickname until people forget you had a real name. Ranajoy might have taken on a gang of armed men single-handedly, but Toton really didn't have a chance. After a point Toton will completely take over the beaten body of Ranajoy,
weighed down by the pressure of a thousand taunts.

This strategy is surprisingly effective. Ask yourself - would you take Professor Rintu seriously? Or put much weight by the opinion of Dr. Bubai? Or march into battle under the command of General Thobla?

The power of the nickname has scarred the psyche of Bengali men everywhere. It follows them like a monkey on their backs. That too, a monkey with a flair for slapstick, that was gifted to them by their own mothers."

Rooted

I am a probashi (non resident) Bengali. Born and brought up entirely in Hyderabad.
Until about 3 years ago, if someone criticized Kolkata for its impoverished conditions, I would have supported their views wholeheartedly. But not any longer. I agree, that in comparison to other metros, kolkata is sadly lacking on several counts, especially infrastructure!!!

However, there is absolutely no way in which any other city in the WORLD can be "THE CITY OF JOY" other than kolkata. And these are not my words, they are DOMINIQUE LAPIERE'S.

To understand the dilapidated condition of this historical city, u must first read up its history. U talk of expansion, infrastructure malls, industry, maintenance.....Remember the number of times, this very city was chosen as the capital city by different rulers time and time again?

Remember the time when this little city had to accommodate an exodus of refugees from Bangladesh and Pakistan? Remember how this glorious city of ours provided food, shelter, clothing, work and prestige to our homeless brothers and sisters?

U complain of lack of space!!!! Answer this question first - where would any of us b today, if Kolkata had not given our ancestors space then???

U want to know of industries here!!!! Kolkata houses the largest and possibly the best leather industry in the country!!! It has jute and cotton industries as well. And why wud u want to build industries in a city where every inch of land is cultivable!!!!

Check out the week magazine article of June 2006. It has an article on the rising industrialists of Bengal. From leathers exports to jute mills, from packaged food to cutting edge technology, we have it all!!!! AND NO THEY R NOT MARWARIS. They r very much "BENGALIS"

There was a time when I too complained of the such things as dirt, ill-maintenance, potholes, open drains, dingy roads, pollution, rickety buses, dark alleys....so on and so forth....

I was loathe to visit that beautiful city every summer. Never understood its beauty before. Never saw the beatific smile of the poor child, bathing on the road side.

Today I know what I have missed! Don't go by first impressions, they are not always right! Look around the city on foot if possible and u'll simply fall in love with Kolkata.

Despite all that apparent disarray, Kolkata is a shopper's paradise. A unique city that houses the filthy rich and the sickly poor with equanimity. Why do u think, that despite such under development, the richest Indian "Mr. Laxmi Narayan Mittal" celebrated his wards marriage there?

Show me one other city that can match up to Kolkata's variety of sweets and delicacies!!!
Show me just one more city where u get to eat a stomach full of "Bhaat, dal and Macher Jhol" for just Rs 8!!!!! Show me one other city where u actually get merchandise below the prescribed MRP (which is as it should b).

Show me one other city where the entire community comes together to celebrate one single festival on the scales of our DURGA PUJO. Not even Mumbai can come close to it.

I request u to read the novel "shei shomoy" or "THOSE DAYS"(in English) by Sunil Gangopadhyay before ur next visit to kolkata. It will possibly help u to understand Kol better. It certainly did help me. Remember, there is more to kolkata than meets the eye. Don't blame the lack of infrastructure on the city. The blame lies with incompetent old fools who used to pass by as politicians earlier.
Check up on the development of the city in the last couple of years and u'll b proud to b a part of the city.

Of course, non-resident Bnegali's like me will probably choose Hyderabad or other metros over kolkata, but we have absolutely no right to criticize this splendid city.

Food for thought

* The President of India DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam 's Speech in Hyderabad ... *


Why is the media here so negative?

Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our
achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success
stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at! Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a
self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements
but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters. I
was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the
day
after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The
Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a
Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an orchid
and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The
gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the
newspaper, buried among other news.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we so
NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign
things? We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign
technology.

Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that
self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this
lecture,
when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal
in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her,
you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India
is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation. Do you
have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.

Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is
yours.
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke,
The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.

YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - YOURS. Give him a
face - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International
best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in
the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay
$5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim
Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking
lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or
a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In Singapore you
don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during
Ramadan, in Dubai . YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered
in Jeddah. YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange
in London at 10 pounds ( Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and ISD
calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph
(88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop,
'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son.
Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell
anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New
Zealand .
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use
examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are still
talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system
in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and
cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an
involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the
same here in India ?

Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay , Mr.
Tinaikar , had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the
streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And
then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the
authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the
officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure
in his bowels?
In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job.
Same in Japan . Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to
the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do
everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the
government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all
over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper
and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms
but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.
We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and
toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to
the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to
women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room
protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the
whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my
sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?
What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of our
neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the
government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually
making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with
our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far
away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a
majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their
glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to
England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out
to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and
brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape
the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is
mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great
deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too.... I am echoing J. F.
Kennedy 's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....

'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA
AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA
WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'

Lets do what India needs from us.

Forward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes or
junk mails.

Thank you,

Dr. Abdul Kalaam

Not necessarily true but definitely a fun read

A is for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the average Kolkakatan goes and spends a day hard at work. And if he works for the 'Vest Bengal

Gawrment' he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 4:30. It's a hard life!

B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don't have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time.

C is for Chappell. Currently, this is the Bengali word for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying, 'Na ghumaley Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabe.'

D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debopriyo, Deboprotim, Debojyoti etc. thrown in at times.

E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every year. 'Ei Morechhey' is a close second to Eeesh.

F is for Feeesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not, he will say 'eeesh what feeesh is theesh!'

G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every Bengali girl will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, et cetera.

H is for Harmonium. This the Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar,.take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!

I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!

J is for Jhola. No selfrespecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are two million jholas bobbling around Kolkata, and they all look exactly the same! Note that 'Jhol' as in Maachher Jhol is a close second.

K is for Kee Kaando! It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is trying to hire Bipasha Basu).

L is for Lungi, the dress for all occasions. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip in the morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt Everest.

M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen as well as Formula 1 race car drivers.

N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!

O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!).

P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.

Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or Kolkata, but it's the only Q word I could think of at this moment. There's also Quilt but they never use them in Kolkata.

R is for Robi Thakur. Many many years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they are to frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly related to the great poet and walk with their head held high. This also gives Bengalis the birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai and of course 'all non-Bengawlees'! Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a close second !

S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer and a captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until he is 70 years old. Of course they will see to it that he stays in good form by doing a little bit of 'jawggo' and 'maanot'.

T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.

U is for Aambrela. When a Bengali baby is born he is handed one.

V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and scream and curse and abuse, "Chherey De Bolchhi" but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1979.

W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is underwater and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!

X is for X'mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit up and all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.

Y is for Yesshtaarday. This is always better than today for a Bengali (see R for Robi Thakur).

Z is for Jebra, Joo, Jipper and Jylophone

Questioning part 2

Ravan ke amra shobai boli kharaap, rakhos etyadi.

Picture this - ekta normal, brave, hot blooded...loker boner keu jodi naak kaan kete day, to she ki taar protishod nebe na???

Ete ravan er dosh ta kothay?

Surpanokha to lakshman ke khali biye korte cheyechilo. Lakshman (a frustrated soul) politely request ta decline korte paarto ki na? Ekta meyer naak kataar ki dorkaar chilo? .
Now u may wonder je aami Lakshman ke frustrated keno bollam? First of all, biyer porei nijer bou ke chere 14 bochor er bonobaas kaat te holo. Seu abaar nijer sautela bhai er jonno. Bou ke chere boudi'r pechone jawa ta loke aajkaal kemon jeno nojor diye dekhe . Kono sherom bravery awards o pelo na. Meghnath er ek teer ei kaat hoye gelo. Shei Hanuman to the rescue ....ke sanjivani aante holo....

Hanuman er o religion niye ektu confusion acche...doesn't hanuman rhyme with suleiman, rehman, englishman???

Ne more thoughts ????

Questioning the questionable

Aaj office e ekta daarun discussion holo kichu colleagues er shonge...about Durga Pujo. This is purely fun and is in no way meant to hurt sentiments. I being pretty religious myself treat this as just a humorous anecdote.

Discussion ta ki theke shuru holo bolte gele onek time lege jaabe, tai jist tai likhchi. Mot Kotha holo je amra je eto ghota/bahaar kore Durga (Goddess Durga and her Family) pujo kori proti bochor, taar theke amra ki shikkha pai?

Durga as incorrectly believed is not really the wife of Shiv (Durga and Parvati are different entities). She is actually an embodiment/culmination of the powers of all gods/goddesses.

Therefore, that makes Parvati a very frustrated wife . Then comes the chequered pasts of all of Durga's children...

Ganesh - Created by Parvati from bath cosmetics, decapacited by Shiv, added with a makeshift elephant head, obese and last but not the least - married to a BANNANA tree (of course coz he wasn't getting married otherwise...)

Saraswati - Another frustrated soul...frustrated with extreme knowledge, skill and beauty (some details are edited to make this family safe).

Kartik - Born from a reed, adopted by Shiv, extremely good looking/decorated and figure conscious, Likes flashy vehicles, out & out playboy (or probably impo----), never married till date.

Lakshmi - Gorgeous and wealthy, married to a philandering husband, never had a family of her own despite being her husband's so called favorite.

Last but not the least SHIV - Indulges in all vices, keeps dressing to a minimum, has questionable associations/hangouts, takes his consort along everywhere even when he is with his wife!!!

Eto kichu shotteo, amader purbo purush ra (undeniable WISE MEN) emni ekta family ke pujjoniyo keno bole chilo??? Aar tai jodi hoye tahole western culture ke noggonno keno bolechilo? Double standards er maane ta doubly dubious hoye geche.

P.S - Please keep future comments lighthearted and humorous as that is the only intention of this post.

My friend revisited

Summer holidays always meant a trip to my mother's hometown. It is a quaint district town in West Bengal and has a charm all its own.

There is a little temple nearby that my grandparents would take me to everyday. The deities (3 of them) in the temple are actually our family deities which we could no longer maintain owing to financial reasons.

My favorite amongst the three, ever since I was a toddler, was a life sized, blue colored little child who stood with his legs crossed at the ankles, holding a flute at his lips.

Granny would tell me several stories about that child who did a lot of mischief when he lived in our home.

Sometimes the child would go out early in the morning and steal fresh peas from a Muslim farmer's crop and sometimes just hide our belongings and return them only when he was offered a pack of salt!

Being a quite child myself, I enjoyed listening to such mischievous activity of someone who I thought was my age.

Today I no longer have the time to go to my hometown and gaze at that lovely face. I console myself with a little golden idol gifted by my father. I keep my Gopal/Krishna at my desk and offer him all sorts of goodies that I personally like. My Gopal loves chocolates, biscuits, chips, cold drinks too, apart from the usual fruits and sweets.

I wonder why we restrict our offerings to God to and sweets only. Don't we get tired of eating the same kind of food everyday? Why then do we restrict God from eating tasty food when it is he who provides us with the means to eat tasty eats?

I learnt sometime back that in Iskcon they feel the same way as I do. Perhaps someday I shall be able to bring my little friend to some temple in Iskcon where he will no longer have to make mischief to eat better stuff.

Meanwhile, just hold on Gopal.

Am I fallback from a different era?

Have never been much of a TV person ever. For a change however, I watched a documentary today. Have been feeling really depressed ever since about the condition of our society at large.

Why is there such duplicity and selfishness amongst the young generation today?

We are the first to critize our parents when they fail to provide for some of our needs. Towards the end of the their lives when they need us most, we happily send them to old age homes and consider having done our duties!!!

Why does marriage between two individuals not result in a happy union of two families as well? Why are we so selfish these days that we marry someone thinking only of our selfish needs and forget all about our parents?

Why are women unable to treat their in-laws with the same love and respect as her own family and vice-versa? Why do men feel burdened when reminded of their in-laws?

We talk management mumbo-jumbo like - "Take responsibility of your actions", "Owe upto your responsibility", "Be responsible", "Take up more responsibility" - and all of that crap without ever understanding the meaning of the word responsibility.

Where are we headed with such escapist & materialistic attitudes?

I, Me, Myself as of today

It has been a long time since I felt inspired to write.Today was a strange day to say the least. I have never felt so restless all my life. I suppose I am attempting to relieve the same by writing this post. Maybe penning down my thoughts will give me a better perspective on how things stand at the moment.

Just like everyone else, my life at the moment has two distinct parts - Personal and professional. So how is that so different you may ask. Well, the root of my problem is the fact that I belong to the female category of the homo sapien species. I am sure you are now questioning my sanity. Trust me, I have been doing so myself for the past few days. Women I know have a tendency to exaggerate and blow things out of proportion (no matter how much some might deny the fact) and I sure am no exception.
Let me start by giving some background. I was brought up by my parents as their son. All my boyfriends since childhood were therefore my brothers. I was happy and satisfied with my life until the day my parents suddenly realized that I was 24 EONS old and still unmarried!!! Worse yet, I had not even been able to find the love of my LIFE so far!!! I guess i always knew that marriage was an eventuality. To have to come to grips with the fact all of a sudden is a different matter all together. I was never a tom boy. Far from it in fact. I loved my dolls and cooking sets. I loved to play all those silly games that little girls usually do. But the thought of having a real husband and the associated responsibilities never entered my head. My parents pampered me so much for so long that i am now spoilt for choice.

I am scared at the very prospect of getting married and even more scared to say it out loud for fear of ridicule. I am scared that my future husband will crib about his life after marriage (like all men usually do). I am scared of being uprooted from the only life i have known so far and expected to accept/adapt in a new household. I am scared at the prospect of having scary in-laws.

I have a job that I love and would hate to give up. There are three different teams where i work and each team has one manager (let us say 1,2,3). Each of our managers is a GREAT guy. If I had to choose one among them, I would rather drown myself in self pity first. The team that i am in does a specialized function and i personally love it. Professionally there are the usual hiccups/disconnects/grievances etc, but i still love my job. However, the nature of my present job is such that I have to often put my personal life on hold. There are times when I get to speak to my father maybe once a week. But I am not unhappy.

Over the last few days, I have received a couple of proposals which kind of fizzled out due to the nature of my job. I guess men still do not like careerist wives. So after a lot of debate I decided to speak to manager 3 (he is the sweetest manager i have seen till date) and he as usual, was a gr8 help. Next I spoke to my present manager (2) (he is also the sweetest manager i have seen till date) and i am sure he was not very happy with what i had to say. Manager 1 (he is by far the sweetest manager i have seen till date) actually hired me thinking that i would perhaps work with manager 2 for quite some time. Manager 1 and 2 are not very happy with the sudden turn of events in my personal life but are sure willing to help.

While I realise that I shall have a perfect work life balance working under manager 3 and be happy at the same time, I also do not want to hurt manager 1 and 2.

What do I do?