transliteration ;-)

The European Commission has just announced that English will be the
official language of the European Union. German, which was the other
possibility, narrowly missed out.

During negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and accepted a 5-year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will
make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor
of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less
letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go away.

By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer
vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und after zis fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German; lik zey vunted in
ze forst plas.